Doomed

I have been in a stand still...well, not me, but my works have been on a stand still for two weeks now.

TWO WEEKS!

And what's funny is that I only have one course subject left. ONE. Talk about being stuck. And I'm already finished with my thesis! FINISHED! I'm getting irritated by my own words. Anyways...

I need to get my drive back somehow. I have been on a Criminal Minds marathon and instead of getting material, I'm getting addicted. I know. It's not good. Maybe that's the reason why I'm in a stand still... I mean my work.

Hmmm...

I should get serious again. I need to get my scheduley-uptight-no-humor alter ego back. She's damn as boring alright but she can get things done. Because I need to get my sh*t done. I have a deadline. June 30. Two essays. One is partially done and the other not at all. Oh please, god of creativity and inspiration please enlighten me for I am gone and loss.

But to be honest, I don't feel horrible at all. I do feel miserable at some level but not THAT miserable. (You get it?) I think this has got to do with ... of course, Criminal Minds. I like the way they analyze their suspects and the way each character on the show can somehow related to the criminals. Makes you think that anyone can be guilty of anything.

But I can't deny. I got a thing for Dr. Reid. Three words. Matthew Gray Gubler. At first, I thought he was just cute and that's why he got into the show. And so, I just brushed him off and said, "Whatevs. He's just a model who got lucky." And then I heard that he went to this fancy university and it got me checking him out on the web.

He is brilliant! The F. He did all these things and he was Simon in Alvin and the Chipmunks!!! (Yeah, out of all his accolades that's the one I choose to remember. Good job me!) But what really caught my attention was his artworks. I always envied that kind of art - the one that does not follow strict lines or color congruity and what not. I am an aspiring illustrator and lines and color mean that there are specifics to accomplish some effects like in comic books or graphic novels. Certain styles are needed to master to fully achieve that life-like feel. But his artworks were different. He did not rely on the straightness of the lines or the matching of the colors. He only relied on what he felt he needed to do. And that is amazing. I can't do that. I always need some sort of guide for me to be able to do anything. Something to help me focus or at least what I want as an outcome. And sometimes that's fun and sometimes, it's not. So when I look at his work, I just feel... exhilarated and frustrated at the same time. I was so frustrated. I even created a Twitter account so I could follow him and ask him some bizarre question. I think I just totally creeped him out. I hope he doesn't think I'm a stalker. I'm not. I promise. I was just curious.

Anyways, I hope he answers. But if he doesn't then it's okay I guess. I really need to get things done. Until next time...