Pain Shmain

Pain is the same, wherever we got it. Yesterday, I had a grueling 5 hour exercise. It wasn't continuous but it still killed.

The last time I felt pain like this was back 3 years ago when I was active in the Varsity. Preparations for tournaments have always been tiring, not to mention frustrating. It's hard when you want to do something that your body would not want to do because it knows that whatever you're doing is either suicide or just plain out of your nature. Sometimes practicing over and over and over helps but still...some things just doesn't work.

Going back...

Yesterday, I went jogging at 6:30 in the morning. It was late compared to my regular which is 5:30. I think I need to point the fact that I watched Transformers 3 with some of my friends the night before and did not expect to go home that late. It is my fault obviously. But I had made an improvement in my jogging routine. I made 4 laps yesterday not including the 2 laps of walking. The first two runs, I had to rest in between. One lap Jog. One lap Walk. Jog. Walk. Then I felt a sudden wave of enthusiasm and I don't know what kind of spirit came over me but I wanted to do 2 more laps without a walking break. And I did. And I felt great. I honestly did not think that I would regret what I did until now. I shouldn't have pushed myself that hard. Well, at least, not yesterday.

So after jogging, I went straight to my other stuff. Homework. Sketched during break. Actually, sketched a lot. (Sorry, I just can't keep away from an empty paper and a sharpened pencil. I always find the need to use them.) Then a text came. It was from Miko, a very sporty friend of mine. He asked me when I was at the movies if I wanted to play badminton the next day. I texted okay. Now, I wish I didn't.

While I was sketching, Miko reminded me of our thing. Of course, I remembered. We met up and I realized that we weren't the only people playing. We had company. The more the merrier right? Where's the harm in than? Wrong again.

There we were at Dr. Cervantes' home and waited for a certain Korean Dr. Lim. When the gang was finally there, we left. Miko and I sat quietly at the back, letting Dr. Cervantes do all the talk. Apparently, Dr. Lim knew a little English. I also think his daughter Ella was at the same level.

We finally arrived at the place and started playing. We played for 3 straight hours. I barely sat down. If I did, it would take only a couple of minutes and then game on. I really had to hand it to Miko. He did not sit. Just this one time for water break. And that was it. He was playing the entire time.

Then a friend of Miko's caught up, Kuya Jan. And like a habit, we played. We just finished a match, a real match (Dr. Lim and Miko vs. Jan and me), which was just after another real match (Dr. Cervantes and Jan vs. Miko and me...by the way, I'm one big loser. Wherever I was was the losing team. I suck.), Ella wanted to play and needed a play mate. Dr. Cervantes asked me if I could but my right arm is about to fall off so I declined very very nicely. But she kept insisting...my golly wow. It's a good thing Kuya Jan was there to the rescue. He took Ella to the court, played with her for a while then introduced her to some kids there. Minutes later, she was playing with them as if they were BFFs. Thank god for children's innate ability to make friends.

After the strenuous playing, Dr. Lim bought us dinner. The dinner was grand (Thank you Dr. Lim). I hand not eaten that many in ...well, since the summer. But life at a University is a life of a pauper and just weeks of it makes you want to leave and come home. And that's another pain for you.

It's not that I did not enjoy the company. I did. I actually did! We had fun but I was just so tired afterwards... I just wanted to whine, I guess.

See...Physical pain can ease out instantly. All you need to do is rest, just what I did today. When I woke up, I realized I couldn't get out of bed and so I laid there from 8 am to 4 pm. I did eat but with much agitation and difficulty. I also had trouble attaching Salonpas to my body. Every movement ached. But there are other forms of pain, the kind of pain that doesn't leave a virtual mark. You just hurt but no one can see it. There is no evidence. And that pain, my friends, is the meanest, cruelest, most annoying pain ever.

Take for example the pain in being pressured. Everyday we are pushed into doing things that we don't want but most of the time what we need, like going to school or work. Not many people know this but its a pain. A drag. Not unless, you like doing it then by all means, please.

Then there's also a pain of confusion. When things come right up in front of you then you start questioning what you stand for, there is pain. You realize that some of the aspects that you know are wrong and you want to accept this new deal but you seem to can't, not because you're being stubborn but because that's not you. And that hurts. It sucks.

And there are the more popular kinds of inner pain like break-ups, misunderstandings, death, financial instability and other related stuff that people tend to avoid discussing for the fear of going crazy. So what they do...what WE do is pretend. And that's pain there. Pain of hiding what you truly feel. And isn't that just freaking cliche.

I'm getting way out of line and my words, way out of hand. I should be writing this in my diary but I need something from the net and this white empty screen just keeps on tempting me.

No one reads my blogs anyways. I think that's good enough for me.

I think I need more rest. Good riddance!